Do You Know Your Neighbour? Team Mafisi Leaves in The “Happy Valley” .

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I am a point 5, or point 25 even, I really don’t understand what they meant when rated us on points mixed white, black and Indian, I can merge between these groups effortlessly and find myself accepted by any culture of people easily….. The “Happy Valley” talk that the media love so much is rampant in All colour and form of upper class Kenyan’s and just about any other  suburb in the first world. These traps middle class people, and the lower class people in the society to a life of neighbourhood, black people, white people, yellow people and any other colour, race and age of person who wants to love and help others and not fight.

Everyone one in the world has to deal with good people and bad people, Kenya is no different to that and more so blessed with wide variations of neighbours, A country that you wake up and smell the fresh lavender, a stoned neighbour, roses, thou a friend the smell of roses is not the best. The people down there have been misused and abused by classes of people with power (“people”) Things like good housing are far too expensive for middle class and below and so I struggled in the same problem at one point in time… if one can afford peace why should others hate instead of striving to reach the same level.  In the case on my hand, I paid tax on everything I bought, like the rest of us, only to be from a now a modern, thrusting country with a booming middle class and a busy capital city where Uber Chopper has just launched a helicopter service”

Unless you are living in a multi-acre residence in one of Nairobi’s suburbs or you own a mega ranch somewhere, you probably know a thing or two about neighbours. You must have had a experience with some crazy “so to say”, some are evil and some are the best you will ever wish for. Here are some of the neighbours that I had to put up with in my younger years.

  1. The Silent lady.

You know they exist, but not sure if they do. No kind of noise ever comes from their house too. So quiet and mysterious you might think they are hiding from the CIA. The only time you get to see her full body shape is on a Sunday afternoon when she is taking her cloths from the cloth line. A number of the team mafisi will always be buffered on how she survives when she comes and leave is always a mystery to the whole neighbourhood.

She doesn’t make noise or look for trouble. He doesn’t seem to have any problem with anyone and just takes life as it comes. She socializes with everyone and helps out whenever there is a problem.

  1. The wrestle mania lover/husband/wife.

It’s always a season premier with this one. Most of the time, they have to be separated by other neighbours. The funny thing is that they never break up. You really don’t understand the main issue, what happens when but always be awakened by the screams and fights as the commotions get louder. At time it can get worse and they only way they get out of the neighbourhood is when they shift to another.

  1. The Village Chef.

You wish you could have a food budget like theirs. Whatever this neighbour cooks, they always find it appropriate to share with their neighbours.  The funny part is that they always have something to complain about your food. They will never be confineable to eat in your house and love their coffee with utmost passion.

  1. The Noisy Neighbour.

This neighbour is just too fussy about everything you do from hanging your clothes on their free line to having a social event at your home. Every single thing you do bothers them and they are just waiting to gun you down!

Music…music…music. This person treats the whole neighborhood like a nightclub and assumes that what he likes listening to is what everyone should be listening to. It would be great if this kind of neighbour happened to have a great taste in music. Unfortunately, that’s never the case, they end up playing the right music the wrong time.

  1. The Alcoholic Neighbour.

Sometimes you will hear someone knocking on your door at 4.00 a.m in the morning. No need to worry, it’s just your alcoholic neighbour who has once again confused your house for his. At other times, this neighbour will spend around an hour trying to open his door because he just can’t locate the keyhole. He is seeing several of them. Poor guy, you don’t understand if he drinks to that level out of frustrations or social circles. He has a silent social habit and only appeals on the lime light after a drinking spree.

  1. The Player/Playeress.

It’s like the whole universe has been to this person’s home. Every night you see them coming with someone new and seeing them off the next morning. You wonder how they pull it off. Chances are that you both respect and hate this person at the same time. He has a liking among the neighbour’s kids too much.  Sometime you see them talking, and you wonder what he is up to.

  1. The Stalking Cat.

This neighbour can make a good spy. And they are addicted to the window. The curtain probably has their fingerprints all over given the number of times it’s slightly adjusted so this neighbor can take a look at what the humans nearby are up to

Once in a while, you will notice a few steps on your veranda but wait indefinitely for the knock. It’s not a sheer coincidence – it’s called spying. This neighbour has no clue about what he wants to know and who he works for, they most probably correct the information for they own statistics that never see the light of the books or surveys.

  1. The Rumour monger

Eagerly airs the unsolicited dirty laundry of nearby residents with little to no regard for truth. In fact, the more sensational and elaborated, the better! The gossip champion pretends to be friendly, but in reality, he/she is just covertly scavenging for juicy information about you to broadcast next door.

It is in my conclusion that if you live in a flat, woe unto you and be prepared. As framed photos and utensils bounce off and crash to the floor, you panic: “Is there a monster upstairs? Is it apocalypse?” Nope, no such luck. That’s just your inconsiderate, heavy-stepping neighbour from above. Usually found in residential buildings with many floors,  scientists have yet to comprehend how that petite girl in the floor above you walks with the tremors of a Rick Ross.

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