Afterthoughts… On Real Love and Freedom.

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She looks at herself in the full-length mirror that hangs from her bedroom wall.  Completely naked and exposed but yet with confidence.  She’s older than she was five years ago, but feels much younger.  And she thinks momentarily about the different men who held her in front of this mirror. Was I in the tenths or hundreds, a thing that I would rather not let it bother my mind?

They thought they possessed her.  They thought she was theirs.  Because she was in their arms, innocently she played and so delicate and sweet she was.  But really she possessed them like she possesses the space in front of the mirror, owning every second that passes there too, it difficult to figure out what she been thinking since she woke up.

She gazes down at me lying naked in her bed.  But am just another man to her, she must have lost the count by now. To me the thought was different, for the first time in years, this one sleeps differently.  With a subtle smile, a dash of poise, and a history free of envy.  And she smiles and giggles to herself. Its a thought in every man after a night of dance and action between the sheets. Just then, I stir slowly lifting my head, squints my eyes, and looks at her standing across the room, naked in front of the mirror. My movement startles her and she jumps.  Not because she is naked, but because she isn’t ready for me to be awake.  Not yet.

This is her time, the early morning, when the world is quiet and she can hear the sound of her own breathing.  It’s a sacred time when answers and insights aren’t as hard to come by.  A time when her mind is at peace and her heart beats slower than that of a sniper waiting to pull the trigger. And it begins beating slower again.  Because I closed his eyes and falls back to sleep again, I have lost enough energy and recovery isn’t easy.

She slips on her robe, tiptoes into the kitchen, pours coffee grounds and water into the coffee maker, places two slices of bread in the toaster, and opens the window curtains.  The warm, early morning sun floods into her home.  A few minutes later, the toaster pops.  She spreads strawberry jam on the toast, pours a cup of coffee, opens the front door, and sits down on the doorstep. She thinks about how happy she is. Happy to simply be, be free.  To not be tied down by another person or have another person tied down by her.  She stares up at the morning sky for a prolonged moment and smiles

All details aside, I thought come to my mind in state of conserving energy to gain enough to lift myself to the bathroom, “the deepest craving of human nature is the need to simply be appreciated as is to be free to BE.  Sometimes we try to be sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image of what we want them to be – what we think we need, love, or desire.  But these actions and perceptions are against reality, against their benefit and ours, and always end in disappointment, because it does not fit who we really are.  The foundation of love is to let people be unapologetically themselves, and to not distort them to fit our own egotistical ideas of who they “should” be.  Otherwise we fall in love only with our own senseless fantasies, and thus miss out entirely on their true beauty.  So save your relationships from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change the people you care about, give them your support and grow together.” Have fun you only live once….

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