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Walking Down the Aisle, What is the Right Time?

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The church auditorium was filled with friends, family members and distant acquaintances of the intending couples; all looking beautiful and gorgeous. The music playing in the background added glamour to the already charged atmosphere as they all awaited the commencement of the first wedding. It was my first hand experience of a mass wedding. Thanks to the Catholic archdioceses of Nairobi for letting this happen, before which it was not norm in this church to have multiple wedding ceremonies almost every each other Saturday, due to the church’s overwhelming membership, and these ceremonies take place in quick succession.

On one bright Saturday morning late in the year, just before Christmas, there were to be five weddings. As the first intending couple made their entrance into the auditorium, the audience was evidently captivated because the bride and the groom appeared too young for what they were entering into. “How come both of them looked like teenagers; these guys look too young; can you imagine; this is the youngest couple in town; are you sure she is not pregnant and these is hurriedly done to ease the family shame …,” were some of the words resonating from the murmuring audience from one end of the hall to the other that caught me thinking in the same direction also, though something tell me never judge, am yet to know why now for them. Judging on the face value, the bride and the groom appeared to be in their mid twenties, and the contention about their age was further compounded by their stature and innocent look. Regardless, the drums rolled on smoothly.

At the end of the service and after about 30 minutes break, the second wedding commenced. But by the time the intending couples entered the hall, the audience again erupted in some murmuring, by now I had recollected my thought and knew that people must talk, regardless of what they say, others make sense, while others just go with the flow without giving much thought to the whole debate, the waiting clouds welcomed them with a rounds of applause. The bride and the groom appeared to be in their late 30s. By and large, the ceremonies were successful and the new couples went their separate ways after their respective wedding, as the attendees wished them pleasant and sweet experiences in their homes.

It is interesting to find that some people prefer to get married early while others opt to defer it to later in life, and the reasons for choosing the latter option range from economic considerations, delay in getting suitable partner, indecision to personal reasons. It is equally noteworthy that whether early or late marriage, many marriages are successful while some others are not. However, some scientists have been able to use the time of marriage (early or late) as an index of whether a marriage would be successful or not. They said early and late marriages have their respective advantages and disadvantages, just like any choice you make in life…..

I have my own vague opinion, “there is no right time or wrong time to tie the knot and start a life”,, however there are basic questions that one should be able to have concrete answers in his mind, which means that getting married anytime is your prerogative, some surveys suggest that getting marriage in the late 30’s is actually riskier than getting married in your late 20s. This is, however, a survey not scientific experiment and more so new trend with the millennial’s.

But, according to a body of researchers, comprising professionals, under the name Ideal Essay Writers, early marriage is better than late marriage.  They argued that among other benefits, early marriage enables couple to enjoy mutual development in life, affords them the opportunity to have children at a young age as well as take care of them during their employment time as they grow, and that parents of such persons tend to be happy that their children are independent and responsible. They noted, “When young people get into early marriages, they can therefore be able to monitor the children while below 50 years of age when they still have energy and their brains are very active. On the other hand, late marriage makes the young people lose their valuable age of conceiving, supporting the pregnancy and getting children. “Experts in the field of health have proven that the best reproductive age is between 18 and 30 years of age. This means that late marriages may experience some problems in reproduction due to more advanced age.”

They explained further that the older people tend to be, or rather are more likely to be anxious about their future home and how to get a suitable partner while their biological clock keeps ticking. However the advantages could be immerse, at this time, couples have grown enough and have the energy and ability, hence adjusting to each other’s lifestyle takes a shorter period. This is a good foundation for better understanding. After the couple adapt to each other’s lifestyle, they then live for long years and enjoy long family life together. Such couples also experience fewer conflicts in their later marriage years.”Looking at some of the reasons why people opt for late marriage, they identified gainful employment, good financial stability, unwanted pregnancy, false expectation, infatuation and hoping for a better life in marriage as prominent. Backed up by other reasons why people don’t embrace early marriage, they identified parental influence, education and wish to enjoy the freedom of being single and absence of mutual accountability.

My final thought is simple, everyone is different. ‘No two people are not on fire’. The best take-away to glean from this is probably that, all else being equal, being married makes you happier than you would otherwise be, but it does so presumably because it involves spending a lot of your time with someone whom you love and who’s a good match for you, as transition from being a bachelor or spinster to being married is a huge one, so the parties must show that they are prepared. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities, whether a male or female. They must be physiologically mature, they must be prepared, have the understanding of the role they have to play in it and have the means to maintain a family. However, there is an intervening variable. The rate of maturity is not the same in everybody. So, individuals have to do self measurement as to whether they can cope or not, otherwise the joy and satisfaction will be lost. So, I cannot say a particular age is the right time to tie the knot but I leave it to your prerogative.

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