Those Team Mafisi Dramas In Life, Ladies Watch Out.
Relationships can be fun, but also horrible at times. Expectations and intentions need to be black and white with clear cut expectations, goals, values, morals, and beliefs, if you are not clear about yourself, would you be to your partner? You can easily fall prey to team mafisi guys. Those mafisi guys, they don’t have any purpose in your life and cause nothing but drama, confusion and commotions leaving you with little time to think rationally. You think he cares but at the end of the day you realize that is far from the case. We’ll talk more about that later.
When I met Joseph, I was over college and dating scene was all about him, where he likes and his happiness it was never about me, but something about him piqued my interest. Our first conversation, and in many following, he would ask me why I was single. My answer was “Because I want a husband not a cry baby or a team mafisi with a list to choice from”. I explained to him exactly what it was that I wanted out of life and in a relationship.
I was at a place where I was comfortable being single. I had the freedom to travel, take up all the space in my bed, spend time with family and friends, A perfect single girls life out of college and projects, Looking for a job was what would bother my mind and the relationships was filled with drama, distrust, and lots of gigantic stories without end that I was not here for. I was open to giving Joseph a chance because there was something great in him. “Could he be knowing this?” at times I asked myself this.
I knew my worth, the value I could add to a relationship, and I wasn’t settling anymore. The people around me said things that I don’t even allow myself to remember. There were a number of times when I literally stopped seeing Joseph for months because he wasn’t giving me what I wanted.
During those times I missed him dearly, but he was acting like a team mafisi, like those hunters with the intuitions for a catch, not himself the Joseph that my heart hard loved and adored for days, giving me sleepless nights on chat sessions with him. He was also used to buying his way out of situations, but he knew material things didn’t impress me. I was dating him on the level that I wanted him to be at and he wasn’t there, so I let the relationship go.
One day we met for dinner and he came at me from a place of understanding and wanting to put the past behind us and move forward. Time was moving fast and we did just that, and have a beautiful baby girl, and were planning on marrying soon. Though things are not perfect, he saw that I wasn’t going to settle for the games and that I deserved a good man. I also asked him for a puppy and got a baby so, I think I should be careful what I ask for with him.
A relationship doesn’t have to be messy nor does it always have to end in marriage, but you can enjoy the process when you have clear expectations. I am blessed to have met the love of my life in Joseph. We are not a perfect couple, but we put each other and our relationship first.
Do you want to have casual fun or are you looking for a long-term relationship? Don’t settle for less than what it is you want. It is better to be alone than to have someone in your life that doesn’t value you in your entirety. My judgment tells me; only go for it if you know you could spend the rest of your life with someone.
You need a plan for dating too. You are investing your time with someone, so know how and why you are spending it. It sounds crazy but it works. When it comes to dating, think business. Assets versus liability. Performance management, mergers, and acquisitions.
Dating doesn’t have to be messy nor does it always have to end in marriage, but you can enjoy the process when you have clear expectations. I am blessed to have met the love of my life in Joseph. We are not a perfect couple, but we put each other and our relationship first.