My Mafisi Days. Before The Whatsapp.
I was once a team Mafisi member just like any other human creature that has three legs. Dating life can be a conundrum of false pretenses and conspiracies of silence, mostly this has to do with the determination to beat your own path in what are the uncharted waters of sex and emotions. The one notion that I have questioned over and over, often to my own detriment, is the so called accepted norm of “a team mafisi member leaves no stone unturned”
My gripe with this has got nothing to do with any illusions about the role of a Team Mafisi member in a society, it has to do with the selective application of the rules of the jungle and the natural selection theory of attraction. Am mostly sure that most of you reading these have at one point in life googled, “mating dance performed by the wild birds”.
In my days of hunting and gathering, society had defined roles for all gender at all ages, then men were the hunters and the women would often be gatherers or tend to vegetable patches. This setup meant that different roles were often directly dependent on a man’s ability to express himself, and the hunting game was fun then.
Before the whatsapp age, mafisi members were generally denied the opportunity to formally and wholly affiliate themselves to such associations. Such character would have provided enough evidence to place you under a tribunal to discuss your conduct and deliberate as well. But now member are first rising up and taking on, what was in the past, abomination has turned to be the norm of the day on the hunting fields, and they are taking on without fear. This basically introduces the famous title for the fortunate few, The “Team Mafisi” have meaning in the given context.
What bothers my mind is, is it fair that we accept them and let them roam around, probably earning more positions and status in the society, or is it the sole responsibility of the man to provide for her and her offspring while she feathers her nest for the day she gets tired of him and gives him the boot? Even when they are independent, they will dump their entire frustration of life on the mafisi they ‘love’, is it acceptable in this day and age, I certainly don’t agree, the times when both men and women had the ability to build a home without bacon on breakfast is the long gone. Team mafisi (friends with benefits) will share the responsibility for dates, motels, cabs, fuel at half half.
I also want to know why men have to pay for gratification, and am not even talking commercially, I am talking about the fact that all men are basically given a shake down in the pursuit of carnal pleasures, It could be anything, a million dollars date with hanger-on expenses inclusive, exclusive getaways, or even outright demands for upkeep money. Why is this the case? Often the prevalent reasoning is that the man is ‘given’… given what? Doesn’t he give too and what if the man ‘gives’ better than he ‘gets’ shouldn’t he demand to be paid too?
May days are gone and the best I can do is watch the conventions until new rules are forged…….