8 Acts of Love That Will Leave You Loved.
Sure, it’s easy to tell someone you love them, but have you ever considered how to tell someone you love them without words?
It is important that you tell your someone you love them, but it’s also important to put actions behind your words so that your person not only hears that you love them but feels it!
So, how do you tell someone you love him or her without words? Let me explain.
1. Love them as they would love to be loved.
I truly believe that one of the best tools in a successful relationship is for each person to feel loved in their basic understanding of what love is, one of those things is the thing that makes them feel the most loved when they are done unto them. When a partner tries to love them using a different love language, they don’t feel loved. Some would prefer some Quality Time rather than some other things – I feel loved when someone is truly present with me, listening to me, focusing on me. Other feel the Physical Touch more than anything else and that why you will find some couples walking holding hands on the beach for hours and yet they don’t get enough of it, hugging them work too.
2. Acts of Service.
In the modern society the Acts of Service could be a very effective way of showing people that you really care about them however most often than not it gets mixed up with other duties and responsibilities of each partner in the relationship– in this case people find themselves exhausted having done great acts of service but they went unrecognized, like changing the oil in the car or going to the grocery store. Stuff got done but neither of partner’s does feel loved.
3. Take care of them but let them return the favor.
Everyone enjoys taking care of someone, but many of us are really bad at letting people take care of us. Think about how good it feels when you do something nice for someone. How it connects you to that person and makes you feel good about yourself. Imagine how good it would feel for your partner to do something for you. So let them! Even if you can do it for yourself, let them do it. Let them feel good about helping you. It is an excellent way to show someone you love them — to let them show you the same.
4. Hear them.
An important part of being loved is feeling connected.
I had a friend who wanted his girlfriend to know that he loved her. He thought that the best way to do that was by making sure they had good memories. So he arranged trips and dinners and other expensive things hoping to create wonderful memories.
His girlfriend expressed her dismay that he was spending so much money on her and he brushed it off, telling her that she was worth it. She wasn’t happy. I suggested that he tell her that he recognizes and respects her concerns and that he has arranged some free things that they can do together to build memories. She was happy. Being seen, heard, understood and acknowledged is an important part of feeling loved.
5. Share their passions.
I have a passion on cars and nothing hit me in as when you take time and appreciated my passion for machines. If my girl would find sometime and be with me as work around cars it would really mean a lot to me, whether it’s a rally attendance, a trip to the garage or so.
My guess is by supporting your partner’s passions, you are letting them know that you respect and love who they are as a person. And sulking in a corner because you don’t like what they are doing isn’t going to buy you any love at all.
6. Don’t be critical.
You know how you feel when you go to visit your in-laws and your mother-in-law makes some passive aggressive, disparaging comment about something you did. You know how shitty that makes you feel? And you don’t even really like your mother-in-law. Now imagine what your partner, who loves you, must feel like when you are critical of them. Mind you that those constant critics will start to fall over dead ears f they go overboard. That’s the nature of human brain it becomes immune to such words and it doesn’t ring the bell anymore as its cushioned against such critics.
So, be careful not to be critical. If you have something to say, say it with love. And if it doesn’t need to be said, don’t say it. Life will go on if his hair isn’t just right, or perhaps you can fix it for him, which in fact will pull you closer to him.
7. Don’t take things personally.
There is nothing more insidious in a relationship than not forgiving someone for a wrong. And for some reason, couples who love each other are really, really good at not forgiving each other. If someone does something wrong, nothing they do will make up for that wrong, and that wrong will be played out verbally, over and over, forever. People are only human. We do things that hurt people. Rarely do we do things to hurt someone on purpose. And yet, in relationships, we often take the thing that someone does to us so personally that we refuse to believe that they didn’t set out to hurt us. And that is unforgivable.
Imagine if you’re getting home one night having missed a date you had planned. Maybe you were delayed at work and then got stuck in traffic, and it’s a disaster. She will take it personally. If you loved me, she will say, you would have gotten home on time. The reality is you do love her. He just didn’t allow yourself enough time. And you blew it, but you do love her. And it’s important for her to understand that. And it makes it easier to forgive. You were late. Didn’t plan well. Blew it but bottom line you do love her.
Of course, another piece of forgiveness is that the wrong-doer must apologize for the hurt caused. Because therein lies the issue that will carry forth forever – the hurt. Not so much the actions but the resulting feelings. So, don’t take things personally. Apologize for the hurt. Forgive and move on.
8. Never show contempt.
If there is one thing that kills love, it’s contempt. Do anything that you can to keep it out of your relationship. Contempt seems to rear its ugly head when wrongs fester, when people don’t forgive, when being critical is the norm and respect is lost. Contempt manifests itself with derisive comments about your partner, comments about who they are as a person.
Therapists say that when they see contempt in a relationship, they know that it’s close to over. So, if you find yourself acting contemptuously, STOP, assess, and figure out what needs to be done. Don’t let contempt kill love. Because it will.
If you are wondering how to tell someone you love them without words, there are many ways to do so. You hug them and kiss them and be intimate with them and tell them that they are wonderful and hang out with their friends and visit their mother. All of those things are an excellent way to show you someone you love them.
But always remember they will have a hard time accepting your love if you aren’t willing to forgive them, if you can’t support them and are constantly critical of them. Back up your kisses with words and actions and they will know that you are the one for them.