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LovematazI was really hoping my feelings would just disappear quickly. For a day I actually believed it. But tonight I looked at a picture of us and couldn’t help but tear up. Recently I can barely remember what it was like during the normal days. There were days he would walk with me to the bus stop, for me to catch my transport off to work and then be on the same spot as i left work waiting for me, I can’t even think of what we did for the time we were together. It was just normal.

I remember the big moments still, though. I remember the day we met. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to meet up with him but he literally made me bend over laughing so I had to give him a shot. Deep love is difficult to understand in the beginning but an instance connection can’t go UN-noticed.

Our second date was no extra than a normal couple’s date. We had dinner in a middle level hotel, the simple tricks he did were more than enough for me to appreciate him, it’s been a while since my mum pulled for me chair around the dinner table . We got full then went to a nearby club, while in the club we were singing, dancing and kissing. The ambience worked well and i just wanted to kiss him again any time we stopped.

Kissing on thebeachI had never been so comfortable cuddling with someone before. The first time he came back to my house. I was so nervous he was going to push for a hookup but we just watched a movie in my living room. A casual talk with my roommates while making an effort to learn their names. Thou most of them thought the idea was not going to work and that the spark was short lived. We never cared much of their comments or concerns.

The first night together, the much i can remember is the anxiety. I couldn’t have sex because of a doctor’s appointment and he didn’t care. He actually talked me into reassurance that it was okay. For the first time i saw the mafisi proverb being followed, “aki sitakusumbua” The night was short and silence deafened the room. A crippling roach could have been followed by its foot steps. The morning after i accidentally dropped the omelet he made me on the floor he rushed to the kitchen to make another one without a word.

He cheered me up when my dog had to move out, though I don’t think it was intentional. We all gave each other shit over the games we played. I just felt like I was in the right place. Yelling at him for a term he used and I remember him being offended. I learned that he goes silent when he’s mad. When we hugged me in bed and I knew things were alright. I melted into his arms during a sleep over at my house. He had to get up early but we still had time to spend together.

Team MafisiletHe never let me live down telling him he was an “amazing human being.” We tried to have game in the shower and it failed but it was just fun and light hearted. I don’t believe I’ve laughed as hard as I did since that night. At times fights were inevitable but once they were over, i freaked him that i was taken escalating arguments. I remember him kissing me after the fight. We hooked up but somehow the whole time it was still sweet.

Once upset he was difficult to handle, he got up once in the middle of the night and moved down to the couch. He took the comforter. I woke up to grab the other blanket wondering if he moved because he was upset with me. We didn’t see each other for days after that. He just left through the open door with no words. I missed out on seeing a movie with my workmates because I wanted to spend every last moment I could with him. We were leaving his friend’s house and he called me out for being weirdly quiet. I had no idea how to tell him that I would miss him so I never did.

We kissed goodbye. Then again my heart sunk ocean deep and a thought said, I’m already in this awful spot. Today i embrace him. You named him names, today i embraced his hearts without fear of what you will say, he will be the future sponsor you will be running after but be warned. He is only mine.


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